Archive for the ‘Characters’ Category

Episode 30

February 17, 2009

Easterson: “You’ve crossed the wrong man Doctor. Her phone was on, and I heard everything.”

Guinevere stealthily checks her Sony Ericsson C702a and is shocked to see she made an inadvertant call to Easterson during her adult situation with Stockton. She looks between faux-comatosed Stockton, her husband Easterson, and the unknown doctor. The sordid love triangle, of which she had been a vertex, had just been extended to a 2d star-convex set – but neither the hapless doctor nor her rash husband were to be found in its kernel.

Before Gnarlhawk can respond Guinevere throws herself between the two men.

Guinevere: “Please don’t do this.”

Gnarlhawk: “No. He has to know. I can’t keep this secret any longer.”

Guinevere gasps, a noise which – fortunately – just manages to obscure Stockton’s own counfused expletive.

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Episode 29

February 16, 2009

In the darkest night, two figures are battered by freezing Atlantic waves. Gordnauld, dragging an unconscious Rentwich behind him, swims towards a small black shape, occasionally visible on the horizon. Only moments before, he had rescued the other from the rapidly-sinking Fortuna Industries’ jet – a jet which had been sabotaged and then abandoned by their treacherous pilot.

Ahead, on the grim rock the pair are approaching, a lone figure watches their progress.

Behind the Scenes: Gnarlhawk-ja vu?

February 15, 2009

Earlier this week, Fortuna Favors the Bold readers were in for a treat when they met Daisingdale’s newest resident – Dr. Gnarlhawk Sinclair. A maverick iconoclast, debonair man-about-town and dedicated physician, Gnarlhawk has been an instant hit with fans, but long-time blogudrama enthusiasts may have realized that there’s more to the good doctor, than meets the eye. We sent Katy Zopf to find out more.

Katy Zopf: I’m here with associate producer Clyde Hastings. Thanks for talking to Behind the Scenes Clyde.

Clyde Hastings: Thank you Katy. You can go ahead and italicize that ‘you’.

KZ: I’m already hitting ctrl+i, ha ha ha-

CH: I’ll stop you there Katy. Like most intelligent creative people Katy I use a Mac. That’s probably a PC reference?

KZ: Um, yes. Sorry, I think for you it’s the button with the apple on-

CH: The command key.

KZ: Yeah. So command key and i.

CH: Oh I see, but the remark’s not terribly witty is it?

KZ: Not really. But I can cut this out-

CH: No no, it doesn’t reflect poorly on me. You can ask the first question now dear.

KZ: Well…. the question on everyone’s lips is, what is so familiar about Dr. Gnarlhawk Sinclair?

CH: Familiar? There’s a number of ways I could answer that question. In the archetypal sense, Gnarlhawk is known to even those who have never encountered him directly.

KZ: Could you please talk about the other Web site he was on?

CH: Rather a leading question. Very well. Gnarlhawk is new to the Fortuna mythos, but the character himself has been around for quite awhile.

KZ: You’re speaking of course about the short-lived Web site Gnarlhawk Sinclair P.I. M.D.

CH: You shouldn’t include ‘of course’ in those sort of declaratives dear. It’s patronizing to the listener. And short-lived is a relative term.

KZ: Well, again I can leave it out of the-

CH: No, please. You’ll learn this way. Yes, Gnarlhawk Sinclair P.I. M.D. was one of the first Web projects I worked on. It was another time, we had a certain naive enthusiasm about the possibilities of Web drama – this was before the term blogudrama even existed, you understand – every second word was hyperlinked to some convoluted subplot point. I remember, quite fondly, a remark from an ex-classmate of mine from Brown – where I graduated magna cum laude – he said that reading an average episode of Gnarlhawk was like trying to decipher Goethe’s original notes for the Urfaust. Ha ha ha!

KZ: ….So, the main character was a private detective and a doctor?

CH: I think that’s quite obvious from the title dear.

KZ: And what happened to the… Short. Lived. Site? Would you imagine that it’s total failure was the fault of anyone in particular? 

CH: Indeed not. I’m sure the experience of ‘not getting it’ isn’t something completely alien to you dear. Any commenter worth his salt would conclude that the internet-viewing public, at that time, had not matured to the extent that a work like Gnarlhawk would find it’s readership.

KZ: No one read it?

CH: Many people read it.

KZ: But they didn’t… like it?

CH: They didn’t appreciate it… What say we move on to something more interesting?

KZ: I’m sure that’s what many of them were thinking at the time.

So there you have it – Dr. Gnarlhawk Sinclair, an exciting new character for FFtB readers, and a veteran of the world of blogudramas – the doctor will see you now 😉

Check back soon for more exclusive insights from FFtB’s Behind the Scenes.

Everyone here at BtS wishes Katy well in her job search.

Episode 28

February 15, 2009

The Janitor: “No more questions Europa. You’re wasting precious time.”

Europa: “What do you– um… I would be interested to know what you are talking about.”

The Janitor: “Oh, didn’t I mention it before? You’re mother has been kidnapped.”

Europa gasps, then turns to see Jack stirring on the ground. When she looks back towards the old janitor, he is gone.

Europa: “Oh Jack, did you hear? Mother has been kidnapped!”

Jack: “Kidnapped?… Mother?… Jack?…”

Europa: “Oh Jack! Please don’t tell me the beating you received has resulted in amnesia! That would be too much to bear after all these shocking revelations! I don’t think my delicate, alluringly feminine, constitution could take it.”

Jack gazes wide-eyed at her for the longest time.

Jack: “Don’t you worry about ol’ Jack. Jack is fine. You can count on Jacky… Jack. Sound of mind and body, that’s what they always say about Jack. And how could I ever forget….. you?”

Europa: “Oh thank God! Come quickly, I need you to fly the jet back to Daisingdale.”

Jack: “The jet? Well, that’ll be no problem for a… pilot like me. Jack the Pilot, that’s what they call me.”

Episode 27

February 14, 2009

Easterson: “Guinevere de Butugenhause? My wife? What are you doing here?”

Guinevere spins around to see her husband entering Stockon’s hospital room. Stockon, luckily, had been in the throws of an unusually-protracted blink, and returns to his faux-comatose state.

Guinevere: “East!”

Easterson: “…-erson de Butugenhausen, yes. Come on woman, out with it!”

Before she can reply, Stockon’s physician – Dr. Gnarlhawk Sinclair – enters the room. Easterson’s gaze sweeps from one to the other.

Easterson: “Oh I see now. I see all too well…”

Episode 26

February 13, 2009

Flying back from Morocco in a Fortuna Industries’ jet, Gordnauld recalls the last conversation he had with his now comatosed father…

Stockon: “Sometimes Gordnauld, I think that all you really want in life is to have my approval. Maybe with that alone, you would have the quiet contentment that seemed to elude you throughout your youth.”

Gordnauld smiles at him.

Stockon: “You can’t imagine how disappointed that makes me feel.”

Gordnauld is shaken roughly out of his daydreams by Rentwich.

Rentwich: “Did you hear what I just said Gordnauld? We’re going to crash!”

Episode 25

February 12, 2009

Europa: “Nooooo!”

Europa screams as the crazed senators finally overpower Jack. Senator Basingstoke himself steps up, draws his foot back for a powerful kick, and..

The Janitor: “Stop this. Get out! All of you!”

Europa is shocked to see all of the senators turn in fear towards the old janitor, and then to begin filing out of the main doors. Brick doesn’t even look up at Europa as he passes by. Soon, the room is empty except for her, an unconscious Jack Schmeistingsneifer, and the old janitor.

Europa: “Who are you?”

The Janitor: “You would, most likely, drop dead from the sheer unexpectedness of any explanation of who I am, Europa Fortuna.”

Europa: “Why did you stop them?”

The Janitor: “That would also, most likely, shock you to death. Sufficed to say, you can tell your father that the debt has now been repaid… in full.”

Episode 24

February 11, 2009

Easterson: “I’m still so stunned that I, Easterson de Butugenhausen, have overheard an adult situation in full swing wherein my wife, Guinevere de Butugenhausen, and an unidentified male made a cuckold of me. What more could I have done than to buy a Sony Ericsson C702a for the woman to prevent such transgressions!?… The device was practically engineered for the purpose! The only thing that could possibly cheer me in the slightest would be to visit my comatosed Golden Platypus Club compatriot and long-time rival, Stockton Fortuna, and gloat over his ailing health.”

Taxi driver: “Um… so you want to go to the… hospital?”

Easterson: “Weren’t you listening man? Drive!”

Episode 23

February 10, 2009

Meanwhile in Rabat…

The negotiations complete, with Adabi meeting all of Fortuna Industries’ demands, Gordnauld stands alone watching the sunset.

Rentwich: “Still thinking about her, huh?”

Gordnauld: “I can hardly believe it was all just an act Rentwich. That Amineh was manipulating me so that Adabi could gain an advantage in the negotiations. What does it mean if… if a man can’t trust his own feelings.”

Rentwich: “It means that he’s – just a man.”

Rentwich smiles encouragingly, while privately considering the possibility that Gordnauld is a total wuss.

Meanwhile, elsewhere in Rabat…

Adabi: “..monkey to do a baboon’s job!…. Ugh…. And what’s all this about the American ‘falling for your charms’? Did you see him outside of the negotiations? Amineh!?”

Amineh: “…What? Oh, I agree sir. A baboon would have been much better.”

Episode 22

February 9, 2009

The group of angry senators close in on Europa. Ex Air Force Colonel Jack Schmeistingsneifer is torn between defending the first woman to awake amorous feelings in him since The War, and allowing some of the highest representatives of the country he loves to accost her. After a moment of hesitation, he decides – with a fist to the face of the nearest senator.
Jack: “I’m punching you sir, but not the office.”
The 68-year-old Senator from South Dakota seems not to recognize the distinction.